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Page 68
Grape Nuts. Such, sadly, is not the case. After 50 troubled summers on this old planet, the only thing that can force this worn old transmission into gear is a couple of shots; one is nicotine, the other caffeine. It's true that I'm holding it under one pack a day, but that first one in the morning is critical to all systems go.
With no more lofty purpose in mind other than finding a cup of steaming black coffee and a chance to suck on a Camel, I searched around for my crusty old Reeboks, tugged on a pair of blue shorts and a tee shirt, and ran a curry comb through the crop of thick red-brown hair my father had once likened to the fur on a rat's nuts.
I paused just long enough to sneak a peek into Cashman's inner sanctum, taking note of the fact that she was even sloppier than me. Garments ranging from the aforementioned well-worn Levis to an unexcitingly small bra were strewn haphazardly about the room. In addition to everything else, she snored. I made a mental note; Brenda Cashman had just turned up with two big negatives on her scorecard. She snored, and she had small boobs.
It was even more ominous outside than I had anticipated. A grumbling, still distant storm was approaching from the west, and the temperature had plunged a good 30 degrees since our arrival. I headed straight for the small diner where Brenda and I had

 
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